Gossip and XBOX – Find a Happy Medium

Guys: Stop ignoring. This is the most infuriating thing you can do. Do your thing, but ACKNOWLEDGE your girl is there. Compromise.  You want to watch this football game?  Cool.  But what will we do when it’s done?  Boyfriend: “Hey babe.  When this game is over, you want to go see a movie?”  Ta-da! You let her know that you want to watch the game now, but you acknowledged she is alive, and in the room, and that you will spend time with her today.  It’s not that we hate the XBOX, we just hate that it makes us invisible to you.   Boyfriend: “When I finish this level, lets go grab lunch, just me and you.”  And now she feels special.  Magical!  You’re welcome.

Or go a step futher – tell her to come watch the game with you.  You can teach her the rules (if she doesn’t already know) and she will most likely root for whoever you are rooting for.  And munch on the Flaming Hot Cheetos with you.  If she doesn’t want to, then just let her know you want to spend time with her later.  Girls like to know that you remember they exist.  It’s that simple.

Ladies: Stop blabbing.  Ask about HIS interests, even if you don’t care or know much about it.  It’s nice to see him talk about something he’s passionate about.

Check yourself.   Don’t blab too much about yourself and your friends, unless he asks.  ESPECIALLY gossip. “Kiki and Gigi are fighting. She said this, and Kiki said that…blah blah blah.”  Keep it down to “there’s drama between the girls.”  And if he asks, then elaborate.  He probably won’t.

Ask about his day, and if he doesn’t say much, that’s okay.  Keep the chatter for your girlfriends.  They can tolerate it better, and they are blabber-mouths themselves.  Besides, it’s more fun to gossip with people who care – you see their eyes light up, and they lean in for more!

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It’s like Ursula said:

The men up there don’t like a lot of blabber.

They think a girl who gossips is a bore.

Yes on land it’s much prefered for ladies not to say a word,

And after all dear, what is idle babble for?

Come on, they’re not all that impressed with conversation.

True gentlemen avoid it when they can.

….It’s she who holds her tongue who gets a man….Poor unfortunate souls!

Okay, not to that extent, but you get the point. Having a good conversation with your man is one thing, but blabbing on and on about stuff he doesn’t care about will make him choose the XBOX over you.  Every time.

Both: FIND A HAPPY MEDIUM.  Don’t ignore/exclude your significant other but don’t drive him/her crazy either!  Keep your hobbies, but either include each other or compromise and find time for your boo.

Posted in Love Tips on July 2, 2013 – 2:18 pm | Comments (1)

Don’t Be a Creeper and Don’t Overthink

Guys: Gentleman, (and I use that term lightly), be respectful.  It makes us want to HAVE YOUR BABIES!  We need to feel safe, respected, and valued.  If you treat us like a lady, then we’ll want to be your lady.

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In other words, DON’T BE A CREEPER.  The way you conduct yourself makes a huge difference.

Wanna dance?  Sure.  But dance, don’t grope.  Wanna talk?  Sure. Then have a normal human conversation, not a cheesy-line contest.  Talk like you’re talking to a new friend. Wanna hang out? Sure, make it something normal and like you’re just hanging out with a friend.  The more comfortable the girl is, the more likely she is to want to see you again.

It’s okay to compliment once or twice, but don’t over-compliment the girl, because that makes her feel uncomfortable.  It sounds crazy, but you can’t make her feel like you are trying to pick her up.  When it’s too obvious, you are coming on too strong.  Now she feels pressured before she even knows if she likes you, and she will more likely say no because she feels uncomfortable.

Just be cool, and have casual conversation.  Be a gentleman.  That doesn’t mean shy or timid, or overly polite (please don’t).  You can be loud and confident, and still be a gentleman.  The more personality you have, the better.  But the more safe and respected a lady feels, the more likely she is to give you a chance.

Just don’t be gross.  Talk like a normal person.  And don’t crowd her.

Did you NOT see how fast Belle turned when the Beast started acting like a gentleman?  It WORKS.

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Ladies: Stop overanalyzing everything!  You will drive yourself CRAAAZY and oftentimes jump to incorrect conclusions.   If you’re not sure about something, just WAIT.   Be patient and wait to see what happens/how things go, or just straight out ask your guy what he meant/feels or what happened.  If you had an encounter with a new guy, do not overthink it.  Because I promise you, he’s NOT.

If you said something awkward or embarrassing, he’s probably forgotten about it already.   If you had a small argument with your man, and you’re still mad about it, he’s probably forgotten about it already.  If you guys had a great conversation or good time on a date, he’s probably forgotten about it already.

Guys tend to move on faster.   Not because it’s not important to them or didn’t mean anything for them – they just don’t dwell on it as long as women do.  Life goes on, so should you.

So by the time you think you’ve figured out what happened or what he’s thinking, he probably has moved on.   Things aren’t as big of a deal as we think it is.  If you’re thinking, “what did he mean by that text?”  Probably exactly what it is says.

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Seriously, stop thinking about it so much.  Keep busy, and wait it out until your next encounter.  Overanalyzing just complicates things, and you end up looking like a psycho.

It’s good in sitcoms because we can laugh at it, but you won’t be laughing in real life!

Plus, he probably WAS just tired.

Posted in Love Tips on April 5, 2012 – 1:16 pm | Comments (1)

Compliments and Confidence – Eat More Ice Cream!

Guys: Little compliments go a LONG way. You have NO idea!  Even a simple “Thank you” will erase all frustration a woman feels for being unappreciated.  An occasional “you look nice” or “I like that dress” makes a woman feel ten times more confident.  Women (and people in general) need to feel wanted and loved.  You don’t have to praise her by any means, but a compliment here and there will make a HUGE difference in her self esteem, and in turn her comfort level both  in the relationship and, yes, in the bedroom.  If a woman feels good about herself and wanted by her man, she will be SO much happier over all, and therefore be more pleasant and fun to be with.  Don’t over do it with cheesy lines and poems.  Just a simple positive comment once in a while will strengthen the relationship. So buck up and learn to share your feelings, guys!  Only a little.  No saps, please.  Just be nice.

Ladies: As author Erma Bombeck says, “Eat less cottage cheese and more ice cream.”  Life is too short to waste it and not enjoy the little things!  Don’t eat a whole bucket, but occassionally enjoy the little things in life.  Plus, you lose weight more easily when you are happy and relaxed. A great motto is “everything is moderation.”

We all want to be skinny and beautiful, but remember that models and actresses are PAID to be that skinny.  It’s their job.  It’s what they do all day. Whereas those of us with regular day jobs have try to balance a long day of work AND an exercise routine.  It’s much harder, and you need to stop beating yourself up for not being a twig.  It’s not healthy anyway.  Plus, no matter how thin and beautiful you are, there will always be someone else even skinnier and prettier than you.  So LET IT GO and learn to love yourself the way you are.  Try to stay in shape, and be the healthiest version of yourself that you can be, but indulge in the little things before life passes you by.  So put that fruit cup down, and have some cake!

You don’t have to be gorgeous to get a great guy. You just have to be CONFIDENT.  Confidence is sexier than anything.  Sexier than big boobs, button-noses, and tight butts.  You know how sometimes you see super HOT guys with BUTT-UGLY girls?  And you think, how the HELL?

It’s because those ugly girls have CONFIDENCE, so they are comfortable being themselves, which is a fun and happy girl.  Guys love girls who laugh a lot and are happy.  They don’t want to deal with drama.

And PLEASE stop worrying about what you look like in the bedroom.  Most guys are happy to even be touching a girl, so they won’t notice your cellulite or chubby thighs.  You notice your flaws more than they do!  They are more focused on doing a good job than trying to find your imperfections.  Again, they are excited to even have gotten this far.  Improvisation teaches actors to COMMIT to their role/action/line, and everyone will believe it no matter how ridiculous it is.  The same applies with relationships and confidence.  If you believe it, he will believe it.  Stop worrying about the details, and just enjoy the moment!  And enjoy life!

Posted in Love Tips on December 5, 2011 – 4:53 pm | Comments (1)

Say NO to Man-Chocolate!

Guys: Stop thinking of only yourself.  Try to put yourself in the gal’s shoes.  Would you want to be treated the way she’s treated? Would you want to go through all the trouble she’s going through for you?  Be a little considerate, and always put yourself in her shoes.

Women don’t TRY to be nags. It usually happens when we feel neglected or unappreciated.  It’s not that we want you to check in all the time, it’s just that we don’t like being forgotten.  You don’t have to spend every second with your gal, but at least choose her some of the time.  Have a good balance of friends and gal time.  And by gal time, I don’t mean sexytime, I mean quality hangout time. We like to have fun too!  We don’t like being the last kid picked for dodgeball, EVERY time.

Don’t turn your girl into that last resort friend you call when EVERYONE else is busy and when  you have NOTHING else to do.  Make time.  Be friends.  If you find you don’t care to hang out  with her, then maybe you should reassess the relationship, and end it now instead of stringing  her along.

Ladies: Many of us end up liking guys who are NO GOOD for us.  Whether it’s from physical attraction, opposite attraction, bad-boy attraction, or just the ease of staying with them – these are the unhealthy relationships that we need to avoid or get out of.

No-good men are like a disease clinging to your body that you have to fight off.  You have to do what’s best for you and your health, even if you don’t feel like doing it.  In this case, your emotional health is at stake, which in turn affects your physical health.  Meaning, this is a BIG deal, so take precaution! And if you’re currently in an unhealthy relationship, get out!  NOW.

It may be hard – they may be very hunky, rich, funny, etc.  Have some will-power!  Sometimes what you WANT is NOT what you NEED.

*Like a child who wants chocolate.  Yeah, it tastes good, but it’s bad for you, and will make you FAT and UNHAPPY! Say NO to man-chocolate!

*Like a dog who wants Cheetos.  One or two won’t hurt, but too many will give him diarrhea.  Don’t let yourself get man-diarrhea!  Stop after one – especially after two.   Control yourself!  Or you will only hurt yourself in the long run.

Posted in Love Tips on August 24, 2011 – 5:24 pm | Comments (2)

Ladies Lie for Protection

Guys: Women want relationships.  Those who don’t, are lying.  If they are okay with just booty calls, they are pretending they don’t care – to you and to themselves.  It is a rare case when a woman who is hooking up with a man, gets asked into a relationship, and truly does not want it.  Even if they deny the title, most women like having a man who actually cares about them.

Some women just get used to it, so they may not be hurt by it because they are numb to it.  They wear a mask and shield to protect themselves.  The armor is there, but can be knocked down the minute they feel like they are more than just a piece of ass to you.  Caring is a powerful weapon.  It can move a woman to bring her guard down.  But if you do this, you better be prepared to continue caring, and protect her yourself.

(Not to say that all men want no strings attached, but MANY of them do)

Ladies: Stop trying to play the “friendship” card.  If you really like him, you won’t care if it might ruin the friendship.  If you’re worried about that, it means you’re actually worried about whether you really like him or not.  When you have to think about it, it’s usually a NO.  Don’t waste your (and his) time.  He will NOT “grow” on you.

When you DO like someone, DO NOT lie and say you’re okay with just friends, and then become friends with benefits.  You are worth more than that. You deserve better, and you can find better. I promise.  There are plenty of men in the world.  Someone else will come along later who you will like just as much.  Find someone who likes YOU, not your cooch.

Plus, when you tell him to f*** off, and you leave, that’s when he comes back.  Unfortunately, that’s just the way it works.  Human nature – you want what you can’t have.  When you finally have it, it’s not that exciting anymore.

Stop thinking he will come around.  You will not “grow” on him.

Posted in Love Tips on June 3, 2011 – 12:24 pm | Comments (2)